Nobody Cares About Your “Family Owned Since 1982” Slogan.
Here’s What They Really Want…

Look, I’m about to hurt some feelings today…

But somebody’s gotta tell you the truth.

Nobody… and I mean NOBODY…
cares that your business has been “family owned since 1982.”

Or that you’re a “3rd generation plumber.”
Or that your great-grandfather started the company with nothing but “2 dollars and a dream.”

You know what people care about?
THEMSELVES.

Their broken toilet that’s about to flood their house at 2AM.
Their AC that died during a heatwave.
Their legal problem that’s keeping them up at night.

They don’t care about your family tree…
Your fancy certificates…
Or the plaques on your wall.
(Sorry to break it to you, but that “Best of [City] 2019” award isn’t impressing anyone.)

Here’s what they ACTUALLY care about:
• Can you fix their problem?
• How fast can you do it?
• How much will it cost?
• Have you helped others like them?

That’s it.

That’s the list.

But instead of addressing these points…
You’re rambling about how your grandfather started the business with a borrowed pickup truck.

Not exactly compelling, is it?

Meanwhile, your potential customer just bounced to your competitor’s website…
Because THEY actually showed how they could solve the problem.

Look, I get it.

You’re proud of your history.
You SHOULD be.

But save that story for AFTER you’ve earned their trust.
AFTER you’ve solved their problem.
AFTER they’ve become a happy customer.

Because right now?
Leading with “family owned since [insert year nobody cares about]”…
Is like trying to get someone to marry you by showing them your family photo album on the first date.

Awkward AND ineffective.

Want to know what works better?

Show them you understand their problem.
Show them you have a solution.
Show them proof it works.
THEN… maybe… if they’re curious…
You can tell them about grandpa’s pickup truck.

But until then?

Keep that family history where it belongs:
In the family album.

Not on your homepage.

-Your Frustrated Marketing Friend